Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise Of Skywalker Has Its First Trailer

Well, cue the insanity. Here's the first look at then newest Star Wars, titled Star Wars: Episode IX - Rise of Skywalker, and although the trailer doesn't show off too much, it puts everyone's most pertinent fear to rest, that yes, there will be lightsabers in it. Now, I know everyone was all stressed out about the big questions of, "will there be lightsabers, won't there be lightsabers?" but now, in the face of this teaser, we can say conclusively that yes, there will be lightsabers. In fact, we even see someone get stabbed with one, so we can put our other major fear to rest that the Jedi and Sith (if this movie can even be said to have any) will just take them out, and make the "Vrummmummmmm, FVISH! Wruhm..... whrum.... FVISH!" sounds. They will actually be using them. Whew.

Take a look at the trailer below, and then immediately make a social media post about how bad this movie is going to suck (you're calling it NOW), and how Star Wars has lost it's way, then pop over to twitter, make another death threat to either J.J. Abrams or Rian Johnson (or both!), and then finally, head over to the official website and see if pre-orders are up yet.


Star Wars comes to theaters on Christmas.