As usual, the DC movie executives began the meeting by bringing up Wonder Woman. Everyone quickly began lighting cigars, clapping one another on the back, their loud, gruff voices raised, shaking hands, laughing, "We did it, didn’t we?!" asks one executive. "We SURE did! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha!" says another.
Eventually, the laughter goes on for far, far too long; it cannot be sustained. As an uneasy silence falls over the room, one man in an eleven thousand dollar suit mumbles, "What are we going to do about Batman?"
Everyone is suddenly on high alert, all gritted teeth and wild eyes, heads whipping left and right. "Who said that? What soft-headed sonofabitch had the balls to say that??"
No one responds.
An intern walks in, holding a tray of $50 lattes wearing a Superman T-shirt. He is met with glares and stony silence until he leaves the room.
As the door closes, an executive who made hundreds of thousands of dollars too many the year before stands up and says, "Gentlemen. Gentlemen. We need to discuss the elephant in the room, ok?"
He takes a deep breath, and says, "Green Lant-URRRRRRRRRRN!" his voice cracking hard, piss immediately staining the crotch of his pants, spraying down his leg and saturating his 170 dollar sock. He sits down quickly and starts mopping at his crotch with a handkerchief, beginning to cry, hard.
Another executive who has been waiting for his personal chance to completely bone thousands of loyal fans stands up quickly, trying to take advantage of the nonexistent momentum. "Gentlemen," he says, "we need to plan for the next quarter. Now; where are we on the next Superman film? Should we continue the franchise as is, or rebooooooo...."
His voice fades as he faints dead away, smashing his head on the glossy edge of the $150,000 conference table. He hits the ground with a thud, blood pooling around his head as the crotch of his pants simultaneously goes dark with urine. Two executives jump up and begin shrieking in a high pitched, womanish way, hands flopping and fluttering like frightened pigeons. Almost in tandem, they rush the huge glass windows of the room at a full sprint, slamming off of them as the impact resistant glass holds, breaking one man's nose and sending him sprawling, unconscious, to the floor. Someone shrieks, in a keening wail, "Suicide Squad 2!!!!" and complete bedlam breaks out, absolute pandemonium, suit and tie wearing executives running about the room, wringing their hands and tearing at their clothes, the room awash with the high, odorous tang of urine. At some point, everyone mercifully blacks out.
The survivors eventually come to, staggering to their high-priced cars, driving home or to the hospital.
The next day, at 9 AM sharp, it all starts over again.
"Warner Bros. is reportedly still attempting to make a Green Lantern Corps. film, which they have described as "Lethal Weapon in space." The film would reportedly feature Hal Jordan, as well as fellow lantern John Stewart. Early reports have claimed that Christopher McQuarrie is circling the project. McQuarrie has previously done directoral work on Jack Reacher and Mission: Impossible-Rogue Nation plus the upcoming Mission: Impossible - Fallout. He won an Oscar for his writing work on The Usual Suspects, and he has worked on solid films like Edge of Tomorrow and Valkyrie."
