Toy Soldiers: WarChest (PC)

Princesses on flying unicorns shooting bananas at tanks. That’s not something out of the fevered dreams of someone with too many controlled substances in their system, but it is more or less emblematic of the insanity in store for you in Toy Soldiers: WarChest. Keep reading to find out just what we mean.

A Little Less Conversation, a Little More Action

Strategic Command

If you feel like you’re being overwhelmed, you can call in the help of player-controlled Heroes, who are much more powerful than your stationary weapons. For example, you can march Kaiser Wilhelm through the mass of enemy soldiers, cutting them down with a machine gun or a rifle. He-Man dispatches intruders with the Power of Grayskull, and you can also take a tank across the battlefield, unperturbed by enemy fire. Unfortunately, not all the Heroes are playable in the base game; instead, Ubisoft uses microtransactions to offer four special armies including Duke and Cobra from G.I. Joe and Ezio Auditore from Assassin’s Creed. You can also get the Hall of Fame Edition, which has all of them. You also get a new character with each new level – later you can soar through the air with a phoenix, unleash barrages of fireballs on your enemies, or hurl 20-sided dice bombs to stop them dead in their tracks. These special figures can only be used for a limited amount of time, but you can collect batteries to allow them to stay in play longer. And if you’re done playing the campaign, you can always switch over to multiplayer and enter the fray with other players.

Any More Glitz and That’s It

The graphics in Toy Soldiers: WarChest are really impressive. There are all kinds of cool details like books that serve as bridges, cardboard trees, and other toys cowering in terror at the edge of the action. Later in the game, an epilepsy warning might well be in order – when the enemy opens fire and you hit them back with a special unit, the screen explodes with light and color.

Lots of “Boom”

For such a playful setting, the sound effects are comparatively realistic and even menacing. The  sound of the machine guns tearing through the air, the furious explosion when grenades or artillery fire rip into the enemy ranks; it’s all almost too well done for the game’s otherwise rather comic atmosphere.